Your Current Dehydrated Self
Admit it. You don’t drink enough water. Sure. You get your coffee in the morning (and at lunch, and between those times, and then after lunch, and then when you get home from work, and then you bring a coffee to the gym too) and that’s got water in it! No doubt. I’m not going to tell you that it doesn’t. But it’s also got caffeine which those ejumicated people would tell you is a diuretic. Oh? You have a protein shake too? TWICE A DAY? Bro, you’re probably so hydrated. But seriously, you’re not. I don’t even know you and I bet you’re dehydrated.
Ever get a sore head out of nowhere or feel like you’re lacking a bit of energy despite your 1 gram intake of caffeine every day and luxurious eight hours of sleep? You have trouble concentrating at work at your office job? How about when you’re drifting off in meetings when your boss is talking to you and your team? Get headaches while studying for your exams or blastin’ out your calculus homework? Mmmhmm. Deeeehydration, my friend. At least a bit dehydrated.
Don’t tell me you’re not.
How To Drink More Water
Okay so here’s why you came here. You’re curious. You admit you have a problem. You’re drier than the desert. You’re drier than half my jokes. You need a solution. But you hate carrying around big stupid jugs of water and being THAT guy or gal. I hear ya (but you’re missing out on quality bicep work, bro).
It’s simple. So simple I’m surprised someone like you didn’t figure it out on your own. You’re a smart person, aren’t ya? What happens when you drink fluid? Yeah. Lot’s of stuff does. You’re right. Good job. You want a bloody protein cookie for that or something? But one thing that’s eventually going to happen is you’re going to take a trip somewhere to unleash all of that fluid. And that, my friend, is your signal.
If you’re at home, keep a little cup in your washroom. Every time you finish up (after you’ve washed your hands, bro) you take that cup and you put some water in it. Before you walk away from that sink you drink that cup. Presto.
If you’re at the office or you work somewhere that would mean keeping a cup near your washroom sink makes you a total creep… then there are alternatives (or you could just be that creep… you’re already creeping girls at the gym part time). Stop by at the cooler on the way back to your desk. Keep a water bottle with your stuff and when you get back to it, drink half of it.
It takes about 15 seconds for you to put water into the cup and swig down a few gulps. It won’t even cut into your meal prep time or your arm measuring sessions. If you’re drinking out of a water bottle for convenience… it’s even quicker!
Best part? That bit of extra water is going to bring you back to that magical spot sooner and you’ll be there again drinking more water. It’s like compound interest, bro, but… like… with water. Or something.
Your New Self
Now that you know how to drink more water, you’ll be killing a couple extra minutes per day doing just that. You won’t even notice it. You’ll still have those beast mode meal pics up on your insta and you’ll still have time to send those scandalous leg day shots to your girl/boy. It’s not going to mean you have to drop an exercise from your workout and you’ll still have all those meals prepped for the week on Sunday night.
What you will notice (or maybe you won’t… but you were always told that you’re special, right?) is that a pile of little things in your life get better. You’ll have more energy. You’ll have more focus. You’ll be able to drop that last bit of fat easier on your next cut. Your random headaches will start to go away. You might even do better on your calculus assignments (but seriously, who am I kidding here).
Just make sure that cup is out of splash distance. That just ain’t right. Go enjoy yourself some water.